I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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