If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
