I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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