Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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