he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I have post one night stand depression
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