I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
