Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
