I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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