do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
