I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
