Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
