I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
