You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
