He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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