Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
