clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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