It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
