i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
