Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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