guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
