that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
