What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
