we have pet lesbian snakes
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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