ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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