Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
