I don't think brook has ever known best
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
