I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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