I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just google imaged poop.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
