no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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