My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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