Kiss
Puke
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
