check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
