i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
