i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
