I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
