We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
