you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
