He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
