We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Im part way to drunk.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
