went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
