Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
