It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
