You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Is it penis luge time yet?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
