pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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