He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I didn't notice because vodka
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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