I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
