I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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