I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
