I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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