Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
