I'm really into asian looking animals
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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