I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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